| Lump Watch |
[Nov. 9th, 2006|07:35 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | outer realm | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  apathetic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Smiths - Hatful of Hollow | ] |
I know I haven't posted in a long time but I don't really think anyone is reading all of these boring thoughts so it doesn't really matter. The lump in my neck is being watched right now. Basically what the doctors said is "we think it is lymphoma but we won't know until we take it out and we won't take it out until it gets bigger." So basically I apparently caught it too soon. I thought that was what you were supposed to do with cancer. Well apparently not in my case. I guess with lymph nodes it can be all kinds of things and since they can't do a needle biopsy, they don't want to needlessly waste surgery on someone who only PROBABLY has cancer.
In other news, I saw the prestige which was great and I have totally gotten into Tesla now, totally fascinating. Most fascinating was his work in Colorado Springs. Not only was he doing some mind blowing stuff but I have my eye on moving to Colorado soon. Possibly a year or two. It is far enough away from here yet close enough to actually get there. I have only been their once though.
Still looking for a new job, everything I apply for I don't get. People keep telling me I am overqualified. I guess I shouldn't try to be smart and engaging in my interviews but instead speak like every other loser working in a call center. It seems like a bit of a catch 22 that I am too smart for the only job I have ever done. The unemployment suits me fine though.
I have completed my Smiths vinyl collection with the acquisition of Hatful of Hollow. so I will leave you with William, it was really nothing, which couldn't be more fitting right now.....
The rain falls hard on a humdrum town
this town has dragged you down
oh the rain falls hard on a humdrum town
this town has dragged you down
And everybody's got to live their life
and God knows I've got to live mine
God knows I've got to live mine
William, William it was really nothing
William, William it was really nothing
it was your life
How can you stay with a fat girl who'll say:
"Would you like to marry me
and if you like you can buy the ring"
she doesn't care about anything
"Would you like to marry me
and if you like you can buy the ring"
I don't dream about anyone
except myself
William, William it was really nothing
William, William |
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| So this is how it is going to be |
[Oct. 13th, 2006|02:01 pm] |
I feel terrible again. I just can't seem to get the energy up to do anything. I think it is because of this lump on my neck. yes, that's right, I have a lump on my neck. It should probably get looked at by a doctor but since I don't hvae any insurance. I will just wait for it to go away, so either it will or I will. It is just a waiting game I guess.
So I will sleep somemore and maybe watch some tv. I never leave my house anymore and nobody comes to visit so, as usual, I am alone.
I want to say a lot more but I don't have many LJ friends yet and it would be a friends only kind of thing. I am going to have to go looking for some I guess. My thoughts are my own but I want other people to hear them so that I know I am still alive. |
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| time stands still and I think I am immortal |
[Oct. 9th, 2006|09:36 pm] |
have you ever noticed how sometimes time just doesn't move? Like yesterday, I was at The Raven flipping through this great book on New Orleans cemetaries. I was looking at all of the beauty trapped in those pages and when I looked up it was like the world had frozen. Everything was still and quiet. I am not sure I was really even breathing.
I started thinking about it and if things aren't really moving, couldn't I live forever in that moment? |
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| Am I waiting for a sign? |
[Oct. 6th, 2006|10:58 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | cure - fascination street | ] |
I wish the cosmic forces would send me a message about what to do with my life. I feel like I am always wandering searching for something better and a place to feel like myself.
Oh - welcome to my blog btw. I haven't done an LJ before and I am really going to try and stick with it this time. I need a place to put down my thoughts so they can get free of my head. |
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